Sunday, December 4, 2011


ive been missing for some time but i have been behind the screen still checking how everyone is doing and i see such great things going on with everyone. Well i have some good and bad news and a little of rambling but here i go. The bad news is that i lost all motivation after i came back to school from thanksgiving brake as i had mentioned i was doing youtube videos and was posting updates and all that but after realising how bad i did back home i decided that the reason i think i did so bad is because i never had a good reason to loss weight besides to be happy and look good which are good reasons but not good enough to keep me away from the bad food and poor decisions i make when i am faced with temptation. For example let me explain to you guys something that not even i came to realise. When i am in college i could say i am faced with temptation but not really because i choose what places to step into when i go buy my lunch and my dinner. However when i am home most of the time i dont get to decide what my mom cooks, where my boyfriend decided to eat. So when i was placed in situations such as these i brake down and give up on my diet. So basically what i am trying to say is that i realised i have no self control and i dont have the motivation i need.

Quick confesion as soon as i realised i had gained weight over thanksgiving i gave up even worst and i ate horrible in school and my mind was thinking well i already messed up might as well enjoy it HORRIBLE WAY OF THINKING AND I KNOW THAT BUT THAT DIDNT STOP ME I ATE AND ATE AND ATE WITHOUT ANY CARE IN THE WORLD. but yesterday as i sat here on my computer seeing how everyone is doing so great and everyone has their ups and downs i decided that i cant giveup there is no way i have worked my butt off to get to the weight i am at right know to let it go because of mistakes. I have restart and renew everything. so here i am again and even though i cant say that weight loss will be my main focus because this next two weeks school is actually going to be my main focus because finals are here and i need to study like crazy and pull some all nighters which are not good for your health but sometimes i have no options.

ok so i dont have an actual plan like i did before. I dont want to set up goals i think all i am going to do is let things happen i will be weighting in weekly and seeing if there is any progress i will be doing body shots every 3 weeks depending how much weight i loss or whatever. I will be coming on here and posting random things such as how i think im doing or if i find something fun or intresting to put up. i dont think i will be doing youtube videos or anything like for know i think i will let you guys know about if i decide to do some or whatever i decide to do. For now i will be low key like i said letting things happen. I will be watching what i eat but not religiously like i did before.

Also i have to mention i will be going home on december 16 for christmas brake. I will be home for 1 month and i am scared but i will try this time around to do alot better i am thinking of either joing the gym or taking some kickboxing classes with my sister and sister in law. I will focus on eating healthy but i dont know how well that will go but we will have to wait to see how things turn out.

And very quickly my weigh in today 161lbs


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